This is just for my own personal curiosity. My friend, Nichole, mentioned on her blog yesterday that she finds herself choosing her words more carefully when I’m around. I’ve heard others say this kind of thing, too. It’s one reason that I don’t usually introduce myself as a pastor right away when I meet someone. Because once they know, the wall goes up and the mask goes on! Sometimes, anyway.
So what about you? Are you able to “just be yourself” when a pastor is around? Or do you censor yourself? (And if you do, do you feel like that’s a good thing or a bad thing?)
Or maybe for you it’s not pastors, but someone else, or some other context. When do you find yourself being more careful with your words? Just curious…
I’ve certainly got a lot better at “being myself.” It’s a shame that we actually have to try hard at being ourselves though.
I think what I mostly try to watch around you is my language. Obviously I’m cool with conversation topics, where periods, relationships, hobos, etc have come into play in the past. I’m always authentic about that!
I’m curious too. I wonder if maybe you frighten people!
I would say that I might not censor myself around other people, but I am careful about what subjects I talk about. I don’t consider myself a vulgar or rude person, but I know that everyone has things that they are sensitive about and I try to be mindful about that. I attempt to stay true to myself no matter who I am with, but depending on the crowd I am with, I tend to adjust.
I don’t censor myself when I’m around you. For me I don’t need to, because I really don’t cuss or swear that often. Learned early in life that there are better words to use then cuss words. I’ve known many people that have a sailor’s mouth and seem to cuss every other word, which just doesn’t sound to intelligent. Basically what I’m saying is there isn’t really a good point to swear in general, so why would it be different when around a pastor? Good topic Rich.
I do. I do it out of respect for your position and your beliefs. I also do the same when I’m around kids. Doesn’t matter if they’re mine or somebody else’s. I also do it at work. I feel that it’s more important for me to respect the beliefs of you and your family than it is for me to curse when I want to. That doesn’t mean that I don’t let one slip once in a while, but I’m only human.
I do censor myself a bit. I sometimes swear/curse in my day-to-day life (not a huge amount but occasionally) and I tend to be more careful about that behavior around “the pastor”.
I wasn’t aware that Rich didn’t make people aware of his position/career/status and I always introduce him as Rich, the pastor. Sorry about that, buddy.
I can certainly understand the perception that once people know that Rich is a pastor, the walls go up and masks go on and behaviors change. I will say, however, that Rich is such a friendly, non-judgemental fella that I don’t feel that I put up walls or wear masks….except at Halloween!
As a young(er) person, I was better off not knowing that someone I had just met was wealthy, college-educated, someone in a position of power/authority. I would become intimidated and my behavior would certainly change. I’d become more shy (I’m already shy enough) and have little to say unless I was spoken to first. At that time in my life, I may have not felt I was “as good” as they were for whatever reason.
I try to watch my foul mouth around Rich out of respect for Rich rather than a feeling of intimidation. I alter my behavior around the company’s clients because, sometimes, my personality (joking and whatnot) leads one to believe that I’m not as serious about what I do as I am. I want our potential clients to know that I am serious…as a heart attack…about my work.
So, there you have it. I respect Rich and don’t swear so much around him. I fear my joking will lead clients to believe I’m not serious. And, I don’t wear masks…except at Halloween!
This was a long way to go to say that
I have no problem, Kathy, with the way you introduce me to your friends.
I don’t hide the fact that I’m a pastor. I usually just don’t bring it up until someone asks what I do for a living. 
Besides, the last time you introduced me to a group of your friends was at your house during the Thanksgiving Eve party, and you followed it immediately with something like, “I love this guy!” That probably softened the “pastor” blow a bit.
obviously I don’t myself, you’re a person just like anyone else so I don’t feel like it’s necessary. Be true to who you are, right?
Rich, I don’t, because I would have to censor myself all the time
Seriously, I understand what you mean because it happens very frequently. I never introduce myself as a pastor because of the wall you are talking about. It is almost comical sometimes when a new acquaintance realizes I am a pastor. I can watch the expression on their face as they try to remember all the things that they said in front of me. After a few seconds, the next comment generally is “I’m sorry if I said anything I shouldn’t have.”
Most times it doesn’t bother me that people have been vulgar or even obscene in my presence. What bothers me is when they repeatedly blaspheme the name of God. If is constant thing, I may say something about taking God’s name in vain. When I do that, I don’t say I am a pastor, I just want them just to think of me a Christian that cares about God.
I’m a real flake because I try to filter my negative attitude when I’m around other pastors.
Having been a pastor I can also say that yes, a lot of people filter what they say and how they act when they know you’re a pastor. At first it bugged me a bit, like I couldn’t really get to know someone. I have come to realize, with some people, I’d be scared to see what they are like with the filter off. LoL
Poop and Butt Smell!
You mean like that?
Wait, did I say that I meant to say, “Holiness unto the Lord is my watchword and song!”